back to basics

my walk on the wild side as a brunette was short-lived. it's hard to control shade and hue, it changes each time you wash. plus the financial outlay was too steep for me.

so it's back to blond for me.

oh, the price for beauty.

ah, everything is as it should be.

it's still a little redder/darker than I'd like but we had to do the re-color back in stages. this is the color of stage one. my next appointment should be the second and final phase.

ah, I think I just breathe easier now. :)

(ps: my stylist's response when I emailed her about going back to blonde, "it's about time." think she likes me better as a blonde!)

a new me

 not really, just a new hair color.

before picture with my friend amy (m) and our stylist lani (r)

after

which do you like better, blonde or brunette?

auld lang syne

new years resolutions:

{1}update blog more often
I promise to write more posts and provide more entertainment than I did in 2009! it still won't be daily updates but I've decided to view my blog as my digital scrapbook (since I stopped traditional scrapbooking a few years ago). in fact, I will start back posting events that happened in 2009 so be on the lookout for those soon.

{2}explore more
my goal is to take a day or overnight trip quarterly somewhere around the puget sound area. I live in a "bubble" in my little world and don't move outside of it unless I have to. let's shake things up a bit. :)

love you all and my hope for you is peace and joy this new year.
make it good everyone!

go army

my baby cousin tony has enlisted in the army.

this is a good thing. as I've said before, we are a military family and this is cause for celebration.

yes, we haven't forgotten there is a war going on. and he understands the risks involved with his choice.

tony is following in the line of some great men in our family; my dad, his dad, our grandpa, two of his uncles, just to name a few.

war controversy aside, the military is an honorable professional. one where self respect is gained and skills are honed.

his going away party was just a few days before he left for basic training (aka bootcamp). he is at fort benning in georgia and all he can say so far is that it rains...hard...everyday!

tony (r) visiting with some friends.

his dessert of choice.
it followed a filipino feast of lumpia, chop suey and SO much more.

hunter and hailey hamming it up for the camera.

nothing says "bon voyage" quite like a competitive game of guitar hero.

tony, we are so proud of you. good luck.

in the company of friends

wallow: \ˈwä-(ˌ)lō\
function: intransitive verb
4 b: to indulge oneself immoderately <wallowing in self-pity>

this about sums up my friday night, my saturday night, and a little bit tonight. it all started with my friends margaret and erica. they were both having problems of the male persuasion and wanted to not think about it (read: talk about it). erica picked up the chicken pad thai, margaret picked up the ice cream and wine, and I had the copy of "say anything" for our pity showing.

margaret is the first one to tell us her funny dating woes while erica is the opposite. it's very hard for her to share so it was nice to provide a safe place for her. what girl doesn't just need to talk and not feel judged? I tend to be more like erica so I could relate. but we really had a great time together.

even with nothing really to add except for my lack of dating stories, I didn't think the wallowing would include me but imagine my surprise when all sorts of things from long ago came bubbling to the surface. those things have lingered, swirling around in my head like my own little fog machine for the past few days. I've been discussing things with the Lord but it's still hard to let go of things you've been holding on to for a very long time.

and, in true wallow fashion, I tend to dig myself deeper into it and spend time on things that make me feel worse. here is my vow,

I AM GOING TO STOP RIGHT NOW.

it is not worth it. it will not change anything. I will not feel better, and I usually end up feeling worse. I'm done. you are my witness.

oh boy. realization never felt so good. or bad.

thank you Jesus for my friends.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.'" CS Lewis

meeting "the man"

today in my daily devotional book...

when the woman at the well met jesus, unlike all the other men she'd met, he addressed her real need. "[he said,] 'go...get your husband'...'I don't have a husband,' the woman replied. jesus said...'you have had five husbands, and you aren't...married to the man you're living with'" (john 4:16-19 nlt). because we're weak, we keep getting into situations that leave us wounded. and those wounds can't be healed by going from relationship to relationship. after meeting jesus this woman ran to tell everybody, "come...meet a man who told me everything!" her answer wasn't another man; she'd already tried that! her answer was meeting the man, and asking him to fill the void in her life.

the bible refers to this as putting "on the new self, which is being renewed in...the image of its creator" (colossians 3:10 niv). if you're sick of the way you're living and want to change, remember, the woman at the well couldn't "put off the old man" till she met the new one. when you're attached to certain habits and relationships, it's hard to break free in your own strength. you'll only be able to disengage when you acknowledge jesus as lord of your life. only by embracing the new, will you find strength to say goodbye to the old. so what does all this mean for you? it means coming to christ as you are, asking him to save you, and entering into a relationship with him. james says, "surrender to god...resist the devil, and he will run from you" (james 4:7 cev). when you do that, god will give you the strength to forsake those old patterns and begin a new life!

just what I needed to hear as I am beginning to make some changes in my own life. and right after I prayed that I would hear him speak. loud and clear, lord. thank you.

realization, confession and apology

I think I may use "air quotes" too much when talking.

have you noticed this? might you have mentioned it before I had to figure it out on my own?

please accept my sincere apology for pulling "like that girl sheila" moments. I will attempt to cease and desist immediately.

this clip is long but worth it, I promise.

man, I love this movie. is there seriously a girl out there that doesn't get sucked into john's vortex of sexiness? cause you are messed up if you don't!

beware: this clip has a curse word at about 5:09 but stick with it, one of the best lines is right after. that blasted pen.

bridge over troubled water

in the event of full disclosure, I felt it was necessary to post an update on my water goal. if I don't have to answer to you all, what is my motivation?!

my goal to drink more water is actually going really well. the same rules still apply although I'm thinking it might be time to up the ante a bit. maybe a larger glass? I'm not quite ready to give up the option of diet pepsi in my "off water charting" time so limiting myself there would likely just set me up to fail. the glass I've been using at work is only 12 ounces so my intake has only been around 108 ounces but I'm still really happy with that. the bathroom is still my friend although not near as needy as it was in the beginning of our relationship.

as you an see, I haven't been perfect every day but most days have been pretty easy to maintain. in fact, when I don't get all my glasses in, I can surely feel a difference. yea to results! (note/excuse: may 23 was the day I flew to boise and I was so nervous about having to use the bathroom on the plane over and over that I just stopped drinking altogether. it was a bad decision.)

it might seem silly to keep notes like these but it's working for me so I don't want to upset the formula...know what I mean?

a new goal: WATER

so, in reference to the baby steps I've mentioned previously, I'm attempting to make some changes to my life. in little increments, success comes swift, which in turn bolsters my confidence to move onto the next change while still keeping a handle on the previous one.

baby step 1: drinking more water

my thoughts are this, there is more access to cold, filtered water at work so that is where I will focus my energy. I make myself little checkboxes on a small sticky note and post it on my computer. each of these boxes represents a full, 16 oz glass of water. sometimes with ice, sometimes without. I will make an attempt to drink more water in the evenings but I am not going to beat myself up if all I want is a diet pepsi. maybe I should call this baby step 1a? :-)

I'm on day three and it's going really well. there has been no cheating at all. the girls at work are keeping me honest so I have some accountability as well.

(seeing as how it's 11:37 and this is how much of my glass I have left, I better get cracking.)

Read this book to see what water can do for you.

jars of plenty

I had the most glorious dinner with my friend amy tonight. we had back to back appointments at our salon to get haircuts (her a color) so we gabbed with our stylist and each other for over two hours. we then walked a spell down the street to a new(ish) restaurant. via tribunali is my new favorite. the food is fresh and delectable. interestingly enough, I can't get enough of their tiramisu. funny coming from a girl who isn't fond of coffee but it just melts in your mouth. we spent another two hours talking about work, our bible study topic, the marriage conference she and her husband just attended, and the new prayer project I've started.

It's been such a a wonderful thing, I thought I'd share my jar project with you all.


inspired by a story from a beth moore conference, these jars house my blessings, prayers for my future husband, and things I need to lay down before god. sitting on the windowsill near where I have my quiet time, I can quickly jot things down, pray over them, and place them in the jar as I think of them. things have even come to mind at work and I write them down on a post-it note to add when I get home.

just imagine how great it will be to read through the jars later and see how prayers were answered and be reminded in the dreary times how blessed we really are. I have decided that all entries into the husband jar will be read only by him and I love that.

I would encourage everyone to do a variation of this. it's incredibly rewarding to have tangible evidence of how the lord is blessing you in the day to day craziness that is life. yours won't look exactly like mine but the clarity will be the same.


note: mine are jars simply because I had these old milk bottles and thought to re purpose them. you could do the same thing using a decorated paper bag, an old tin or gift box, even a drinking glass from the kitchen would work.

semi-retirement

I've apparently lapsed into a state of blogging semi-retirement. what?

there is a lot to catch you up on but I have to post slowly. I'm overwhelmed and baby steps are all I have the energy to promise.

blogging is fun for me but stressful at the same time. a word smith I am not and I begin to feel a sense of obligation to find something to blog about...and produce a post clever and witty. that's a lot of pressure for this girl. I know, "let it go" you say, "only post if you feel like it." thank you. that does help but here is where it gets complicated...I like blogging and I want to do it but the challenge lies in the writing and sharing of myself.

as hailey can tell you, the lord is working on me and this is just one avenue he's using. he's forcing me to be introspective, to think about things that are hard, to be intentional, and accountable. should this blog be for thoughts, feelings and journal-like posts (akin to my prayer journal), or kept strictly for daily events, craftiness and other basic thoughts? what do you think?

I know I am my own worst enemy by putting the bulk of pressure on myself. perfectionism (or the need to do everything "my version of" right) is a struggle for me and I do NOT like to do things half way. when will I learn to let it go and just have fun? coming to me just now, is the realization that I am a great planner but I fail in the "do-ing" department.

why is it so hard to make changes you know you need to make? you know what to do but it is so hard to get out of the box you put yourself in that you sit, immobile, waiting. waiting for what is the question I'm asking myself now. still don't know the answer.

back to the baby steps I mentioned earlier. I have much to share but I'll be doing it bit by little bit if that's okay.

thanks. I appreciate you.

happy new year: delayed

I've never much been a resolution maker but for some reason, this year I felt like making goals would be a good idea. taking her lead, I thought I'd post a few in hopes you'll keep me accountable, be amused, whatever. here are the highlights of what I hope to accomplish in the next year...

1) be open to opportunities (personal, career, everything) 2) have more consistent quiet time 3) be able to walk up queen anne hill without passing out 4) live in the moment: not the overly planned future 5) stretch on a consistent basis 6) make pillows for my couch (see photo below) 7) learn to sew my own skirt using this book 8) be less critical of myself 9) take my lunch to work at least four days a week 10) be more adventurous 11) do my bible study sooner than the day before (or day off!) 12) create a fabric wall in the kitchen like this one and this one 13) listen to opera more: I find it oddly soothing 14) expand my musical repertoire: listen to new artists, go to more shows 15) buy my produce/specialty items from pike place market or the queen anne farmers market as often as I can, especially in the summer 16) become more involved at my church




thank you and goodnight.

Oh, the Places You'll Go

Seriously, I wouldn’t have believed you if you had tried to tell me…

{Who knew}
that when I decided to move back to Seattle, it would be in the middle of a month of snow storms.

talk about shock :: 80º in CA to 20º in WA :: I’m still cold.

{Who knew}
that when I accepted the job offer at MA, I’d be moving on in as little as four months.

and I had another offer :: would SNW have been better? :: probably not

{Who knew}
that I’d be going back into commercial real estate.

The question :: can I handle sales agents again? :: you bet your sweet bippy

{The BIG lesson}
God’s timing, Jenny…not your own. Get out of the way and let things happen as He intends them. Remember that you are NOT in control…and that’s a GOOD thing.