I've apparently lapsed into a state of blogging semi-retirement. what?
there is a lot to catch you up on but I have to post slowly. I'm overwhelmed and baby steps are all I have the energy to promise.
blogging is fun for me but stressful at the same time. a word smith I am not and I begin to feel a sense of obligation to find something to blog about...and produce a post clever and witty. that's a lot of pressure for this girl. I know, "let it go" you say, "only post if you feel like it." thank you. that does help but here is where it gets complicated...I like blogging and I want to do it but the challenge lies in the writing and sharing of myself.
as hailey can tell you, the lord is working on me and this is just one avenue he's using. he's forcing me to be introspective, to think about things that are hard, to be intentional, and accountable. should this blog be for thoughts, feelings and journal-like posts (akin to my prayer journal), or kept strictly for daily events, craftiness and other basic thoughts? what do you think?
I know I am my own worst enemy by putting the bulk of pressure on myself. perfectionism (or the need to do everything "my version of" right) is a struggle for me and I do NOT like to do things half way. when will I learn to let it go and just have fun? coming to me just now, is the realization that I am a great planner but I fail in the "do-ing" department.
why is it so hard to make changes you know you need to make? you know what to do but it is so hard to get out of the box you put yourself in that you sit, immobile, waiting. waiting for what is the question I'm asking myself now. still don't know the answer.
back to the baby steps I mentioned earlier. I have much to share but I'll be doing it bit by little bit if that's okay.
thanks. I appreciate you.
3 comments:
I've missed you, and your posts, and I will be waiting patiently for your baby steps posts.
First of all - darling picture on the sidebar - you look whimsical and joyful, like you're celebrating Spring.
Secondly - I could have written this post! Weird. For as much as I love blogging (I do love the writing part), I hit a major dry spell. I missed it, but that turned into guilt and then avoidance!
I think it started when I went to my doctor and basically said "One of us is going on meds, me or Aaron." We tried me, and I went on Celexa. Almost immediately all creativity and enjoyment of blogging left! I quit after a week, but it's felt like it's taken forever to get back in the swing of things. I even stopped checking other people's blogs...so I still need to see what I missed here.
Sorry so much about me...back to you. I say use your blog for whatever it needs to be for you. Are there people reading it that you can't be as open around? Maybe start a private blog for the more self-discovery things or for goals that you can't admit to others yet.
I enjoy reading about my friend to the north, so I hope you keep up with it. Baby steps sound good to me.
{{{hugs}}}
marilyn: thank you for the support. it's nice to know I've been missed!
dishes: thanks! the photo was taken by my friend angie's little girl abby who is 5. we were on a coffee date and she was playing with my camera. she did good didn't she? I'm so glad you know what I am talking about with this post. it's so hard to love something that causes you anxiety at the same time. I'm thinking things will continue status quo and I'll make the distinction to post things on a case by case basis. baby steps it is.
thanks again! so glad to have my blogging friends.
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